7 Reasons Fans Should Shut Up About the FANTASTIC FOUR Reboot [Rant]

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007) – Thing (Michael Chiklis), Dr. Doom (Julian McMahon)

Can everyone just calm down and stop complaining about the Fantastic Four reboot?! Writer Simon Kinberg came out and said the upcoming Fantastic Four film is a cross “between Spider-Man and Chronicle.” He means director Josh Trank wants to make a more realistic movie. As per usual, every time any news comes out about the upcoming movie fans come out of the woodwork to whine and complain about why the movie will be horrible. It’s stupid. Sure, the movie might not be Shakespeare, but it’s going to be decent.

Look. I’m a huge fan of the Fantasatic Four. Thing rocks. But everyone needs to stop complaining. Here are some reasons why the most vocal fans need to shut their trap about the movie.

Update: Ok. So the movie is terrible, but it’s still not a good idea to predict failure based on rumors. Plus, Black Human Torch is still awesome

1. The Fantastic Four Movie Will Not Be Terrible

This movie will not be terrible. The 1994 Roger Corman film was terrible. Fantastic Four (2005) was not terrible. The 1994 Roger Corman film was terrible. Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007) was not terrible. The 1994 Roger Corman film was terrible. Back in the 90s schlock movie master Roger Corman made a low-budget version of the film and it’s awful. Ham-handed script. Ridiculous acting. Goofy looking special effects. It was terrible. There will never be another movie as bad as Roger Corman’s. That movie sucked. This movie will be an improvement no matter what.

If you’re wondering how bad it could be then watch the trailer.

2. Yes, There’s a Black Human Torch

My brother already talked about this, but the black Johnny Storm keeps coming up as “proof” the film is unfaithful to the comics. Whatever. It makes no difference. He could be Chinese and it could still work. Everyone said Michael Keaton was a mistake for Batman (1989) because he was short and skinny. He was incredible. Jordan could be the greatest ever. We don’t know. Stop being so hard-headed and move on.

3. So What if it’s Not Faithful to the Comic?

Sure, the original comic is a work of art, but it makes no sense. It reads like the ravings of a crazy old man. A group of 40-year-old men go on an impromptu spaceflight and get bombarded with “Cosmic Rays” before crash-landing on Earth with superpowers. After discovering they’re freaks of nature they decide to become superheroes. Really? The concept is insane because audiences are more sophisticated than comic book readers back in the 50s. Everyone knows you don’t just launch a rocket ship into space on a whim. It takes years to plan a spaceflight. You have to take into account millions of factors including weather and trajectory. Plus, cosmic rays are nothing like the radiation that people thought they were. It’s literally impossible to translate the origin into a movie without it being ridiculous. Speaking of ridiculous…

4. They Look Ridiculous

The Fantastic Four look awesome in comics, but they look ridiculous in real life. You have a guy covered in rocks, another guy made of rubber and a guy covered in fire. Oh. And a woman who turns invisible. Do you know how much work it takes to make them look realistic? It’s a nightmare. Anyone willing to take that on deserves our support. Josh Trank’s got huevos of steel. Stop whining and be glad we have him.

5. The Comics Aren’t that Great

Speaking of the comics, everyone complains that the Fantastic Four won’t be like the comic books. Why should they be? If you love the comics so much, why are sales of Fantastic Four in the toilet? Because no one wants to read the comics. So why would a movie be based on a failed comic book series? I have fond memories of the comics, but it just can’t translate into a successful film without changing it.

6. Fans Are Wrong

Whenever a movie is unfaithful to the comics we can’t help but think it’s a mistake. But we’re wrong. For example, Bane in The Dark Knight Rises is about as far from the comics as you’re going to get. He’s not Mexican. He doesn’t have “Venom” pumping in his veins. He’s not superstrong. He doesn’t wear a wrestling mask. Totally unfaithful. But the movie made over a billion dollars. So, obviously being unfaithful to the comics works. It’s sad, but get over it.

7. It Doesn’t Make a Difference

I’m in the same boat as hardcore fans. When something comes out that feels unfaithful to the comic I get upset and rant and rave. But to be honest it doesn’t make a difference. We’re not going to change anything by ranting. They’re not going to change the casting. They’re not going to rewrite the script. Nothing is going to change by complaining. Constructive criticism might be warranted but complaining does nothing.

Kinberg said, “Josh Trank’s instincts are to be as realistic and grounded and real with this stuff as possible. In many ways I would say it’s definitely more of a drama than comedy. It’s still in the direction of Spider-Man. It’s not like Dark Knight. And even Chronicle has a lot of fun in it. We’re treating this as the origin of the Fantastic Four so in future movies you’d have them on sort of splashier adventures to some extent but in this one we tried to ground the science as much as possible to make it feel like it could take place in our world before it cantilevers into other worlds.” He’s on the right track. Everyone just calm down and we’ll get through this. If the movie bombs there’ll be another reboot in a few years anyway.

Fantastic Four, stars Kate Mara, Michael B Jordan, Miles Teller and Jamie Bell and is scheduled for June 18 next year.

What do you think? Is it about time fans calm down about the Fantastic Four movie?

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